The Honest Realities of Breeding

I thought that losing Moto yesterday was the worst that could happen. I cried so hard when Yishai left, how he told me that the drive down alone was so hard for him and how he wished I could be with him. It was awful. As soon as he drove away, I cried. It didn't help on dog forums that people were saying they wished that I had kept him, and my friends. But it's a good thing he's got a new home.

And then I checked my voicemail.

I have debated writing this in the blog, but this has been serving as an educational experience for some of you, so I think it needs to be out there - the realities of breeding, like culling, and discovering you've produced something unhealthy (especially, say, epilepsy).

It appears that one of my puppies is not working out in her home so she will be coming back after the first two days of Passover. I am hoping it's nothing that can't be worked on, but she is not handling exposure to stressful situations well. So, that beyond sucked - that was one thing I have been terrified of happening, and I thought I had done a nice job in choosing homes that were prepared to deal with the challenges that come along with these lines (should they arise). It's the last thing I want to do - upset her new owner, upset her, and upset us. Hopefully she will be stoked to see BreederDad at the airport and we can see what is going on.

I talked to a couple people last night about it, witnesses of the behavior, rescue folk, and my line's breeder, because my personality makes me want to think I'm a horrible person and prepare for the worst. Who wants to find out their puppy is not working out? What did you, as a breeder, do wrong? What mistakes did you make in screening homes? In placing that puppy?  In not reading her? But the reality is this, sometimes things just don't work out and that home wasn't meant to be. That sounds so positive, but in reality, I still feel like I've been hit repeatedly with a large stick this morning. Everyone around me has been wonderful about it, and I know that I have a solid support system for dealing with it. I even have a lead on a new home for her if it turns out to simply be a training/home incompatibility.

And then Yishai called me from the airport - they will not be shipping Moto out due to weather restrictions.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! It's hard to deal with all of this at once. So, I spent about seven hours last night trying to work out problems as they were arising, but it was a lot to handle. So, after Passover, Yishai will be picking up Curry at the airport after having just mailed off Moto.

Did I say I have a good man? I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that guy. He has been my best friend for years and would have done those things for me anyway, but he has also be integral to me raising this litter. I cannot imagine having done it without him.

We're obviously not done, too. I breathed a sigh of relief when I thought about Moto going to his home and being like, "We're done." But I knew, oh, I knew that that was far from the truth. If you're a serious breeder who cares about what you produce, you're gonna deal with a lot for the rest of those puppy's lives. I just hope to the heavens that nobody develops epilepsy or hip dysplasia. In this breed, it happens. I certainly didn't see Curry's return happening.

But, as my roommate Laura reminds me, everything works out for the best in the end, and while I may feel awful right now about everything, most likely what needs to happen will turn out right. Curry was, after all, my heart puppy from this litter.

Moto's last day - and I am officially empty nested

So, tonight Yishai comes by to pick Moto up, and then he, Rippa, and Moto head south. Moto will be on a red eye to New Jersey and wake up in time to meet his new family, Alina and Sam - and be a Pesach puppy for them as he will have his first Passover Seder with them. Yishai goes off to his parents' house with Rippa for the same. I'll have Fury, Rexy, and my roommate (my other one has left for six months to be a smoke-jumping wilderness firefighter). It's gonna be a really lonely couple of days.

Yishai and I have spent the last couple days kinda "mourning" Moto. Looking at him, saying how beautiful and wonderful he is, but going, "It's better for him and us if he goes to this new home." Alina is over the moon. I never was. But Moto is a sweet puppy and it's hard not to admit I got pretty attached. I've been a lot more worried about how Yishai's going to handle it - Moto and he connected a long time ago, and he probably would have picked Moto if not for my heavy campaigning for him to pick a female so I wouldn't have to deal with intact  male issues with Fury (who I am not planning on fixing). This all makes me feel really bad, specifically because as  a kid, I remember an incident that's burned in my heart forever:

This woman had just gotten into showing in conformation but her dog wasn't as "nice" as he could be for that venue. Still, dutifully, husband and wife would go to shows and try their best. I really liked the husband a lot. He was gentle and sweet and handsome (and yes, in a lot of ways, like Yishai). Overtime, she decided or was convinced (I can't remember which, I was probably 13-14) that their dog was never going to finish and if she really wanted to keep doing this, she was going to need to get another dog.

Normally, people just get another dog.

But for some reason, they decided to rehome him. I remember the day when the exchange took place. And I remember the husband just crying and crying. Eventually they got divorced and I always felt for the husband. I'm sure it wasn't over the dog, but I think that anyone who is willing to rehome their family dog because they got a new hobby is probably not very considerate of other people - especially not soulful types.

So, every time I catch Yishai looking at Moto and his eyes look a little far off, I worry. When I decided I needed to place him, I made sure Yishai was okay with it, but it still hurts a little to know how he feels. I feel somewhat the same. It's definitely different than placing the other puppies who were long-promised when I had them. Yishai even bought Moto a matching collar like Rippa's. He's always commenting on what good friends they are.

But here's the thing: I don't need another dog. Fury and I have plenty to do with one another. Moto is a sweet boy, but he's not really what I want to work with (he's softer than I'm used to and I am not so good at handling soft dogs), and my living situation just isn't right for it. I tried a few years ago to fully commit to the "dog lifestyle" but it shook out that I was more committed to my current one of adventures and altruism (read, not making enough money and always giving it away) and building companies and living in suburbia with my friends. Not prime dog-lady material.

And at this point, it's definitely too late to go back. When I talked to Alina the first time, I felt like I was going to break her heart when I decided a stockdog puppy out of Fury was too much for a first-time dog owner. Now that she's sent money, Amy and I have made her go out and get books and supplies, and she's willing to get up VERY early to go get her puppy in Philadelphia tomorrow, there's no going back. Our hearts would simply not hurt as much as hers and Sam's.

And that's how I know I did the right thing by homing him.

It's funny. I started out like, "No, these are stockdog puppies and I am hardcore and they are hardcore and I will place them as such." It's kind of like tail docking. It's great in theory until they are your precious, perfect babies, and all the theories go out the window. (This is especially poignant because Moto has the longest tail out of everyone - I picked him to do first because he was big and if anything happened, I figured he had a better chance at survival. Rippa's is the shortest because she was the last.) None of my dogs went to "stockdog" homes. They went to homes where they'll get trained on stock. Some might get trialled. I am hoping one or two or three get a WTCh. But all of them are spoiled rotten, well on their way to family love-dogs, and you know, I am okay with that. More than okay. Moto almost had a home on a ranch but I decided he was too needy to live in a kennel his whole life after living here in our living room (and now he sleeps in my bedroom).

So, today is a Moto day. I have things I need to get done, but he is currently bopping around in my room as I write this and Fury and he are wrestling. I'm charging up my camera so I can take a barage of photos, and I'll cry when Yishai takes him. (Okay, let's admit it, I've already cried a few times.) I'll probably cry when he puts him on the flight, too (I think Yishai is going to have a VERY hard time doing this, also). But I will cry with delight when I hear from Alina tomorrow morning. She's promised to become extended family and send lots of photos. Yishai keeps saying he'll never see him again and I've promised we can make a trip out to see the puppies sometime (both homes are already amenable). We'll be okay.

And now Yishai's talking about how maybe one day we should have another Ben/Fury litter.

In Other News


Yishai and I had to go promote his events at a triathlon put on by the college here, so I decided that bringing puppies was an excellent way to (a) attract people to our booth and (b) socialize them. So we had a field day at Lake Lopez. Enjoy!

In the morning:

The puppies share Fury's crate when they stay in my room. I don't know if you can see it, but Moto has his arm around Rippa.

The night before:

We got to the race area at 6:15 am, and it was freezing. The puppies were pretty tired from bopping around all night and not so happy about waking up at 5 am to get going. Sleepy. So, when the tri started, Yishai and I took them down to watch the action. I tell you - you ever feel invisible in the world? Get yourself a fuzzy Aussie pup.

And then we went back to the finish, where our booth was:

Dog walk?

And then in race director nerdiness,  Yishai puts a chip timer on Rippa:

And then gets then to go over the mat.

The timer actually created a category for her and posted her finish time. This "funny" is beyond me, but if it makes them happy, huzzah.

This was a nice thing to do for the puppies for many reasons:

Most of the volunteers were Grizzly Academy students, so it was nice to give troubled teens some puppy lovin'. I didn't get photos but the guys got to enjoy the puppies after the race as we were packing up. Puppies running free amongst them, looking for cookies and cuddles. :)

By the time the race was over, all the playing around, the loud announcing and whatever had sacked the puppies out. People were kinda bummed that they couldn't really interact with them, but I took it as a good thing that they were able to sleep through poking and noise and be happy all the same.

So tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired:

And then Yishai suggested, after we packed up, that we should take them to the lake to swim.

At which point, we discovered a Rippa idiosyncrasy -she loves rolling in the silt!





So people are always thinking the puppies are minis for some reason, even without a Fury escort. I started asking people why. Yishai had to sit me down and tell them that the tone I use when I ask makes them feel stupid. And he admitted he did the same thing when they ask about Rippa (he's been very well educated, you should hear him talk about Aussies, colors, etc) but he realizes it's not their fault. So, yeah, sorry folks I've offended, I was just wondering WHY THE HELL YOU CAN'T TELL THEY ARE PUPPIES!

Huge reversal - Moto has a new home lined up

Right, I last left you with, "Yeah, I guess I am keeping Moto." But the last 24 hours I have been thinking a lot about puppy management and life with a bunch of dogs (given that Yishai and I are long term, no matter how you look at it, I have three dogs if I keep him).

Laura told me about how Emma had been received - just how happy they all were. How she rode home with her head on Jim's lap, how she enjoyed playing with her brother's cattle dog, and how she went straight out to the yard and sat down on their most recent dog's grave. The family is finding so much meaning and happiness out of her.

And everyone who has a FuryBen puppy is pure stoke about them. Facebook updates, emails, photos . . . stoke  stoke stoke. Yishai finds his puppy and rubs all up in her, despite my advice not to let her he insists she sleep in his bed, and just wants to be around her all the time.

I love Moto. He's adorable, he's kind, he's a great dog. I did good with everyone but I am not stoked on him. I'm not stoked on having a new puppy and having to invest the time and money to raise him. I decided if I kept him, I would stop doing stuff with Fury to afford new training, and that was sad because I still have things to do with her. And I feel guilty dividing my loyalties to her. One dog is enough.

So I got up this morning, and I emailed the best home I rejected. Alina and her husband are friends of Amy's (Curry's owner) and that's how we were referred to each other. I interviewed her but was too worried he wasn't a good fit - this is her first dog and I have been careful to give these pups to homes that could handle a stockdog with guardian instincts. She seemed so enthusiastic that I felt bad about telling her I thought Moto was too much dog for her.

But the same thing happened with Moto as it did for Emma. The extra time with him has shown me that, no, he is not. He's a soft dog (something I'm not so good at handling) and that means that any behavioral issues I'd be worried about would be easily correctable because he doesn't want to upset you. He's not protective, he's not alpha, and he more than anything just wants in your lap. He is soooo cuddly (like Reid).

So I emailed her and told her he was hers if she wanted him.

There came back a resounding YES! Alina told me that she'd continued to watch him grow up and think about him despite my rejecting her as a home. She wished and wished, and wow, do I believe in providence? Yes, yes, I do. Her email and talking to her on the phone . . . absolutely convinced me I am doing the right thing by sending him off. Yishai was a little upset, I think, but we sat down and talked about the prospect of having three dogs and eventually having to find a place with three and raising and the resources I'd have to hand out  and . . . when I told him about my lack of stoke, he told me I should home him.

Isn't that funny? It's the stoke that did it. Always follow the stoke.

So, if all works out, Yishai will drive him down to LA on his way to stay with his parents for a couple days and Moto will have a new home in New Jersey.

"My face hurts so much from smiling! You can come visit him any time!"

Yes, this is the right thing to do. I love you Moto, and sometimes you gotta let the baby bird fly.

Emma's gone and I now have my own second dog

Well, it's happened. Little Emma Fie Pie is currently on the long drive to San Diego with Jim Flowers:

He was here in town for a couple days so I got to talk to him about her and I am pretty excited about that home. They've had cattle dogs for twenty years but the last one died tragically while this litter was still little personality-less guinea pigs. They'd wanted an Australian Shepherd for a long time. They kept asking but I said no, no, because I thought all my puppies would be a handful and a pet home couldn't handle it.

Not so. Emma is so calm and polite and respondent and FRIENDLY, that she'll be fine. And the neatest part is that they know how to handle her if anything does go wonky - I mean, they had cattle dogs.

Jim was like, "How could we not get her? We know where she's coming from, we know the mom, and she literally came to us." I guess when Laura went home a few weeks ago to go on vacation with them, they had photos of her printed out on their desks and trotted them out to show her friends. 

Oh, did I mention they're thinking about taking stockdog lessons with regularity (they used to do it with one of their cattle dogs)? Woot. So everybody went to homes that will work them. Goal achieved. I sent him home with some old Aussie Times, too, so maybe we'll see them out there in California.

But before that, they went on a play date with my friends' Aussie, Bailey, who is an adorable, smallish red merle:

Alex makes Emma look HUGE!

Yishai took all these as I handed him a camera while I went back to work. But I had to steal one off of Julie's Facebook profile:

Awwww. So cute.

So officially, Moto is the only puppy in the house at this point, which means that as soon as Jim left with Emma, he got to sleep in bed with me. And we just went on our first "run" with Fury (but he's kinda slow, I think tired from yesterday). 

Here goes with training.

And with that, don't expect too many posts. The litter is all homed now. Still not sure if I should take Moto off of "for sale" listings or not. This year I have done a lot of things my better judgement tells me not to do and it has worked out. Is keeping a puppy from this litter one of them? Moto is a lot more mellow and sensitive than my preference in dogs, but maybe that's a good thing.

A Day at the Beach

So, Saturday night, the remaining three pups had their last shots and we're good to go to meet new dogs. Yishai declared it a "Kristin day" and said he would do anything I wanted to. Being low maintenance (and also have some major problems with my right shoulder), I opted for "let's take the dogs to the beach." Not a major sacrifice on his part.

We loaded them up into his new event truck and away we went.

When the kids got to the beach, they were confident little guys until we tried to get them to venture into the water. Yishai and I would feed them treats but when the water rushed around them, they would high tail it to drier ground.

The older dogs spent hours playing Frisbee and tennis ball, so eventually the puppies got over it and chased them up and down the beach.

We were on high alert as this is the "dog beach" and I didn't want anyone getting into trouble, but everyone they met was fabulous to them. This one woman came over and sat down and soon had Moto draped all over her asleep and Rippa and Emma sleeping beside her. They were so good and friendly.

I think it's wonderful that Emma and Rex are such good friends, seeing as how Rex is now her nephew. :)

I'm not stoked that as soon as Rips and Motzi are leashed, they get barky at strangers. Will have to fix that one.

Anyone notice how big they are compared to Fury? I don't think we'll be getting "minis" out of this bunch. They even have more bone than she does at 3 months.

The pups again were worked. They let me sleep in until 9:30 today, and that's when I woke up naturally! I was up late last night grading midterms. :)

Laura got home from her family vacation and reports that her parents (the owners of Emma) have photos of Emma printed and displayed all over the house. When people came over to see them, they would pull out the baby photos. This is awesome. Her father comes today to meet her and will be taking her home on Wednesday. I guess Emma's first puppy class is on Thursday so they are eager.

When Laura told me she was leaving sooner than I thought, I was really, really said. You get attached, you know? Emma was the quiet middle child who wasn't as striking as the other puppies and so polite that she got lost in the shuffle. Me being able to keep her till 12 weeks allowed me to see that she's a stellar little guy. The other two puppies are looking pretty awkward - Emma looks perfect and beautiful. She's growing into a striking kid. She's the first to lead the charge on anything daring, and always the first to come when called or do a command I request. I was really happy to see that, and I appreciate her being such a nice little dog. I haven't heard a lot from the Flowers so I was a little worried that she was just going to be a dog until I found out about the pictures. I'll be seeing her some when the Flowers come to visit, and she's promised to take Emma to stockdog classes at Kathy Warrens when she's old enough so that we can see how she turned out. Given how I've seen her play - I think she's turned out solid. That little gal knows how to grip (ask Yishai's shorts when he does chase games with her).

And here's some photos of our other three:

Piper -

Curry -

Reid -

The lens on the iPhone made his nose look huge, according to Kathryn, so he's not that weird looking.